9/11 Vigil
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'My watch over WTC dead changed me'
The vigil ended in mid-May, a decision taken by the rabbis who first started the watch. That was a really hard day. It was then that we realised it had actually ended, or maybe that we had spent all this time watching over so many dead.
Click here for her earlier story
Since then, I've lost two friends to cancer. One was a woman with three young sons; the other my best friend's 16-year-old brother. I cried, but I couldn't help but feel better about it all.
Unlike those who died in the 11 September attacks, they had their whole bodies and knew they were going to die. After 24 hours of shmira, they were buried and their souls went straight to heaven - no delays.
The night this boy died, his friends came in to sit this vigil and recite psalms, just as we had at the New York City morgue. The day after the funeral, I spoke at his school and realized that the times are so strange. Here we are, young people, sharing stories about sitting vigil for the dead.
On 11 September, I was among the watchers asked to come back to the morgue as religious counsellors. We said our psalms and spoke to some policemen and firemen who were there to remember their friends.
I saw a couple of them recently - they recognized my face but couldn't place who I was. I smiled and left. They looked relaxed and happy, I didn't want to remind them where they'd last seen me.
It just shocks me that this is the second Hanukkah since the attacks. Soon it will be three and then four and then five.
New light
Now I've graduated, and I'm getting married to a guy who I started dating around the same time I started the vigil.
He says that the shmira was what made him go, "Hmmm, there's more to her than I thought." That helps bring me back to it. Yes, it was depressing and soul-wrenching and spiritually uplifting (literally), but it felt great.
It stays with me. Even if I had only done it for one day, it would stay with me. But it always feels good because when you comfort someone's soul, they are grateful eternally - multiply that by 3,000.
